F My Love Life: Global Lovin' Disasters
Women In Business
Hey ladies, I’ve always been a big supporter of women in business. This links to a Facebook page for the “Gal-Pal” a company started by two wonderful women. Support your fellow ladies and “Like” the page on Facebook!
Cheers
Lily
Updates: Swingers Club
Whether you all remember this or not, quite a while back I took a break to write for Marvelous Girl, and online women’s publication. Well, I’m still doing that.
As some of my posts have hinted at, I’ve grown somewhat interested in the idea of swinging or non-monogamous committed relationships.
The two seem to be in combat with each other don’t they? After all, the overwhelming response that I have received when asked the question: “Is monogamy important to you?” has been yes.
At some point in our lives all of us, have probably given the “once a cheater always a cheater” advice. People that “cheat” are looked down upon, and the majority of people consider it unacceptable.
Yet there are many people that struggle with the idea of monogamy. I’m sure we all know of at least one couple where “cheating” has happened. Some get counseling, some don’t, some tolerate it as long as they are discreet, many more break up.
We all have our limits, and for many people, cheating stresses the boundaries of a relationship.
But there is a segment of the population worldwide, that do not feel that love and monogamy have to go hand in hand. On the contrary, there are many couples who enjoy swapping partners.
Given the attitudes of most people you would think this is a small segment, however, there are more out there than you think.
Being the inquisitive person that I am, I have decided to delve into this world and investigate it further. Keep your eyes out for the next couple of weeks as I interview sex experts, and various owners of swingers clubs.
xx
Lily
Relationship Sex Part II: The Conversation
So yesterday I finally had the conversation with my partner. You know the one. Where you try and work out where things are headed. I last left everyone off where I was bored with the sex and we were trying to find ways to keep it fresh. I decided that what would make me happy would be to leave the relationship open until he came down. You remember. Sadly, that did not go over well. Apparently being in love and monogamy are something that have to go hand in hand -who decided this? I have no idea. Either way -he’s not having it. I’m “allowed” to sleep with women but literally he said that if another man touched me it would make him sick..Funnily enough, I don’t feel that way about him and other women. I’ve never felt that way. To be honest? As long as I know what’s going on that kind of thing does not bother me. I don’t look at ‘cheating’ in a traditional sense so to speak. I find it rather old school and annoying that people try to put ‘love’ in a box. You can love one person in so many different ways. I’m very open in every sense of the word. Yet at the same time, I’m a serial monogamist. I find one person to sleep with for long periods of time, and when I’m done I move onto the next person -I just don’t have the attention span to have more than one lover. The reason that the relationship with my ex lasted so long is because we had hot sex with no strings attached for years before we were long distance. I had time to develop a friendship, and then those feelings of love, that eventually transcended the sex..(well most of the time) So I do worry, that jumping into it has made sure that we burn out just as quickly. If I was a pill I’d be the slow release kind. Snap decisions don’t work -I have to plan things out, carefully look at things. Here’s the thing. Frankly? We jumped into the relationship. It’s hard to go from 0-100 -especially when someone like me needs time to adjust my feelings accordingly. I’m very..shall we say…SLOW when it comes to emotional attachments. It’s just my makeup. Having that conversation where he felt so hurt, so angry that I didn’t feel the same way about ‘sex with other people’ really highlighted just how different I feel from other people regarding these things. I’ve never believed in the instant sweep off the feet kind of chemistry. It’s occurred once in my life, and unfortunately I was in a relationship at the time. I didn’t act on it -and it haunted me. Haunted me for almost two years until I was finally able to go back and act on it. By then, it was too late. It had become an unhealthy fixation (yeah I’m a Scorpio) and I released far too much energy on this poor person all at once. The poor boy ran for his life and you know what? Fair enough. He got on with his life after I resisted him, it probably seemed like I came out of nowhere. Because it was all of that unreleased energy that had built up over time. The time was then, and at that time I was in a long distance relationship with the then love of my life. To this day, I wondered if things would have been different had I acted on it and just gotten it out of my system. And you know what? It probably would have been. I have been told my whole life that if you cheat on someone it means you don’t love them, nearly everyone I know believes that. As unpopular as this will be -I genuinely believe that it would have been easier and better for that relationship had I just gone ahead and acted on it. Guilt comes from the ‘moral code’ -what you’re supposed to act like. But what happens when you don’t feel that way?
What I REALLY should have done today was..
Eat heart shaped red velvet pancakes…with chocolate cake shots.
Happy Valentine’s Day. Hopefully, instead of reading this blog, you’re out shagging the pants off someone.
Excuse me while I give myself my Vday present.
Lily
Who is grrrl/boicotting the Grammy's with us?
Grammy producers confirmed that Chris Brown will be performing on Sunday’s show.
“We’re glad to have him back,” said executive producer Ken Ehrlich. “I think people deserve a second chance, you know. If you’ll note, he has not been on the Grammys for the past few years and it may have taken us a while to kind of get over the fact that we were the victim of what happened.”
Read that quote again. Think hard about what is being said. Here is what this quote says to any woman who’s ever been abused:
Sasha is the VP of Marketing for Pop Salad and a freelance writer. You can follow her on Twitter @sashrocks.
- By blacklisting Chris Brown from the Grammys for a “few” years (actually, a grand total of TWO Grammy Awards), the Grammys have gone above and beyond expectations for the social exile of an adult man who hit his girlfriend so hard she went to the hospital, and honestly it was really, really hard for them to show even that much support for victims of domestic violence worldwide.
- It was rather thoughtless of Rihanna to go and get herself hit in the face by her boyfriend, because it’s put such a burden on the Grammys. Maybe if she hadn’t made such a big fuss out of it, things could have been easier for everyone.
- The Grammys think that they were the victim of Chris Brown hitting Rihanna in the face.
- The Grammys. Think. That they. Were the victim. Of Chris Brown. Hitting. Rihanna. In the face.
See more posts from Sasha
(Source: lipstick-feminists, via leneewashither)
Friday Night In LA
And all I want to do is go try that Chicago deep dish pizza place with girlfriends and drink wine.
I miss my London girlfriends.
No this is not sex related.
Valentine’s Day…
Is on a TUESDAY. So why get all worked up about it? You’re only going to have to go back to work the next day.
Now when it falls on a Friday..and it means I can fuck (insert whoever here) all weekend long and go to work a jumbled mess on Monday?
Then we can talk.
Full Moon in Leo..
The Full Moon in the regal sign Leo on February 7th should give us all a bit of a confidence boost - there’s nothing like Leo energy for giving us all a chance to shine.
Lily
PS: Good time to go out and get laid ;-)
Relationship Sex: Part II: Voyeurism
On Saturday, the man and I posted an ad on Craigslist to find a couple that is into being watched, and also likes watching. I got tired of trying to find a girl that was ready, willing and open -that we both agreed on. The problem with Threesomes is that most of the time? They just can’t be arranged..they just have to happen organically.
I shall be going through the postings for your pleasure, and of course, if we find a suitable couple, you all will be the first to know.
Everyone has a sexual fantasy. Be it the naughty schoolgirl, having sex in public, being caught in public, anything -it’s always interesting to explore your options.
One thing that has always fascinated me was voyeurism. I have always wanted to watch another couple have sex/possibly be watched as well. It’s rather curious. To see how other people like to have sex, real sex, not porn, just real live sex.
Of course, I do wonder if it is essentially an authentic experience. After all, when we are being watched, we are still performing -because we are under the impression that the person watching is forming an opinion of some kind.
I once told a lover that I wanted to watch him have sex with another woman. Needless to say, that never went down well. This monogamy thing can be a bitch just when you don’t want it to be.
Depending on the relationship, you might be fortunate enough to have an open-minded partner. Or…you could gently persuade your partner to take the plunge with you into a sea of fantasy and deviant behaviour..but you know..taking the slow scenic route so that before you know it, you’re right where you want to be.
Lily
